Slander and Harrassing Voicemails to:

1+ (858) 335 – 1244

Deposed South African government employee money requests to:

ape @ ape – works . com

(and don’t forget the “-” dash!)

Mail bombs, hard goods, et cetera:

PO Box 504292, San Diego CA 92150-4292

It’s a digital and analog world. I prefer digital, so I’m attached to my Samsung Galaxy S5. Email me for best results.

My daddy said he ain't home.

A child at my home office

Don't get offended if you call and I don't answer. Email or text instead.

Me

Seriously, leaving a voicemail has better results than continuously trying to call me.

Me again

Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Willis?

Arnold Jackson (a different Arnold)

Oink.

Arnold the Pig (another different Arnold)

It's not a tumor.

Arnold Schwarzeneger, Kindergarten Cop